Ad left earlier than usual this morning. First, there was the blowjob FAIL, then I started asking him about the house, and that effectively chased him away. I feel bad, but I am also goddamned irritated that he can’t seem to motivate himself at times. But okay, I knew that about him when I started my relationship with him, or even before, really, since I’d known him for as long as I’ve known my ex, so I should just swallow my irritation and get over it.

First, the potentially amusing part.

We all know what a sex goddess I am, of course. Sex is always an awe-inspiring, spectacular, soul-searing event with Jade! Uh, yeah, right. Maybe over on Pieces of Jade, but here it’s just between you and me, right? I can be honest here, can’t I? So yeah, sometimes, just occasionally, mind, there is a big fat FAIL there. There was this great post over on, “When Sex Isn’t Quite So Sexy” that talks about all the ways sex can get unsexy, merely by the fact that we are human, and sometimes our bodies make objectionable noises, etc.  Funny, right?  But not sexy.

Sometimes, like this morning, we can’t stop sneezing.

I have horrendous allergies, and unfortunately I live in a place where I shouldn’t. I should live somewhere like, oh, Antarctica, where nothing grows or lives, for the most part. Though I might be allergic to snow, so that might not work either.

It’s so not sexy when you’ve got your lips around a man’s cock, you’re taking him deep, he’s thrusting up into your mouth and starting to moan, pushing his way up to the edge, and… Achoo! Only it comes out muffled because you’ve got a cock down your throat.  The cock doesn’t stop the snot that blows out your nose, though.  And no, don’t tell me it’s all lubrication, just mix it in with the spit.  I gag, I pull away, I ask for a tissue. Regroup, breathe…ok, all is well now.  I’ll have to start over, since he’s laughing now, but, here we go…and it happens again. Achoo!  And then I can’t stop, 10, 12 times I sneeze, till my throat hurts and tears are coming out of my eyes, and there is just a copious amount of so-unsexy snot everywhere. And he is laughing so hard he is no longer even remotely excited anymore.

Sigh. Blowjob FAIL.

To make matters worse, after our showers, while I am getting ready, I decide to stop ignoring the elephant in the room and ask him outright about the house situation. He/we own a house in the city that is sitting empty. A beautiful old renovated Victorian that we put on the market just as the bottom dropped out, couldn’t sell, and ended up letting a coworker live there for a lot less than the mortgage, but at least it was being lived in and we were paying part of the mortgage.  Well, she moved out recently. And now the house is empty again. I want to get it back on the rental market, but we need to do some things to it to get it ready.  Things that he really has to do. But he can’t get himself motivated enough to do them.

“Well I hoped we were going to get someone in there we knew (our gf),” he says.  But we didn’t, I say.  Move on, in other words.  But he doesn’t, and so the house has been empty for two months now, and I am getting more and more frustrated by his inertia. I don’t know why I am letting myself get this way though. It’s his house, he pays the mortgage, it’s his financial burden.


I know there’s more to this frustration than just the house. It goes back to that “I knew he was like this when we started,” thing. And I have to just let it go.  But it’s hard. And then I end up chasing him out of the house so he can escape to work.  Not good.

Relationship 101 FAIL.


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