Meme Fun

I don’t usually do memes, as I usually have more than enough to write about and not enough time to write it all, for the most part, but this one made me remember some good stories, and hey, today is my day to do absolutely nothing, so I thought, what the heck!

And if you want to read some hilarious answers to the meme, check out Dante’s Paradiso, where I got it from. Oh, and according to his wife Tiggs, whose spanking blog, A Spanking Good Time,  I follow, it’s also Dante’s birthday today, so stop by and wish him a happy birthday!

This meme asks if you have ever experienced any of the following:

Been arrested? Yep. Ostensibly it was for an unpaid ticket for my car being out-of-registration, but it was a Friday night and I was driving home not-exactly-sober, and so they brought me in and dumped me in the drunk tank. Bail, or the ticket (I can’t remember how that worked) was $300. No one I knew was able to come up with the $300 until Monday, so I sat in the overcrowded San Bernardino County jail (the hellhole of America) over the weekend. It was a harrowing experience.

Kissed someone you didn’t like? Heh. Yes. And recently.

Slept in until 5 PM? Not often, even when I was working til 3am as a waitress the night before. I get too restless in the morning. But I have gone back to bed after getting up for a few hours and slept the day away.

Ran a red light? Once, when I was looking ahead to the next light and it was green.  Sacred the bejeezus out of me!

Been suspended from school? Nope. Never even got a detention. I was a good schoolgirl (maybe why I am so bad now.) ;-)

Experienced love at first sight? Lust at first sight, certainly. But love? I don’t know. I need to know someone to love them.

Totaled your car in an accident? Never been the driver in an accident (well except someone bumping me from behind.)

Been fired from a job? Hmmm, tough question. I think I have fired myself. Twice I have been in situations where I was likely to face disciplinary measures, each of which might have resulted in a firing, so I quit before that could happen. Each time I found out a firing would not have resulted, but that’s part of my make-up: reject before I can be rejected (and the subject of a blog post I’ve been pondering.)

Fired somebody? Besides myself? Nope, never been in a position to do so.

Sang karaoke? Hah! Once. Great story. I met this swinger couple for a date. I was wearing my most-favoritest bra ever, a lacy V-Secret push-up number. We went to this scary (and I mean SCARY like backwoods, moonshine-brewing, fat-old-guy-with-overalls-and-no-shirt kind of scary) where they did karaoke. I have no idea how/why we chose this place, but there we were. And oh, tequila was involved. For some reason, tequila brings out…another  side of me.  lol  There was this woman (her name eludes me) and I in our tarted-up splendor, drunk and lascivious, and we got up to sing…and ugh…the song she chose? That Meatloaf song, you know the one, the light of the dashboard song? Gah! But the best/worst part of it is this bar had this “tradition” of women giving their bras to the bartender to hang over the bra. Stupid me, I just had to do it! So my favorite bra is hanging somewhere in a nasty bar in east Jesus right now. But at least I got a huge cheer when I did.  That’s what it’s all about, right? :-P

Still love someone you shouldn’t? I don’t know how to answer this. I’ve never loved someone I “shouldn’t.” Even my first ex.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Good heavens, too many times to count.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Many.

Kissed in the rain? Often.

Had a close brush with death (your own)? When I was quite young a gf of mine, my first ex and I went for a ride in her brand-new, as in purchased that day, sports car. She decided to “show us what it could do” on this windy, twisty road that went through a local park. We were drinking. Need I say more? Okay, I will. We hit a tree head-on at about 60 mph. The only thing that saved me from going through the windshield (I was in the center, between them in the front, no seat belt) was that my ex had the amazing foresight to wrap his arms around me just before impact. Even with them being belted, there were three impact marks in the windshield where our skulls connected. I am absolutely certain if he hadn’t held onto me I would have gone completely through and probably been killed.  As it was I had two cracked ribs from him holding me so tightly. Cracked ribs I am grateful for to this day.

Seen someone die? No. But I felt my father pass away. And that’s all I will say about that.

Smoked a cigar? Gah! No.  YUCK.

Sat on a rooftop? My dad and I used to sit up on his roof in the apartment he lived in in Berkeley. On clear nights we could see all the way across the Bay to the lights of the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco.

Smuggled something into another country? An extra bottle of Kahlua from Mexico once. It wasn’t worth the anxiety. Honestly.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No.

Broken a bone? My tailbone. There’s another funny story to go along with that, but maybe I will save that for an HNT.

Played spin-the-bottle? Nope. I never played any of those kinds of teen-aged party games. I went straight from zero-to-one-hundred, having no interest in boys to being full-on sexually active and moving in with a much-older boyfriend when I was barely 16 (tho I think I may have been even younger, since I was living with said bf when my father died, and I was 15 when that happened.)

Eaten a bug? Not deliberately. Tho just yesterday when I was doing my usual mouth-breather staggering running, a bug flew into my mouth and I think I swallowed it.

Sleepwalked? Nope.

Rode a motorcycle? Yes. I played with this one Top that had a motorcycle, one of those big fancy cruisers.  I loved it! I begged him to take me out every time I was there, even in the coldest weather.

Dumped someone? Hmmm…I think except for one boy who broke my heart into a billion pieces, I have always been the “dumper”, tho I wouldn’t characterize it as that. Sometimes things just don’t work out…and sometimes I think I was maybe on the verge of getting dumped so I dumped first. Back to that “rejection” thing.

Lied to avoid a ticket? No. If I do it, I’ll pay the price.

Made your boyfriend/girlfriend cry? The guy I lived with when I was 16 cried a LOT when we split. As did my first ex. And eww, ok, my second husband did too. But I didn’t “make” them…I cried too. Breaking up hurts!

Eaten snake? Nope.

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? Is that a real thing?

Been in a band? Scary thought, that.

Puked on amusement ride? Puked after an amusement ride. One of my older sisters, the crazy one, set me up with her best friend’s brother when I was 14 (he was 19.) We went to the State Fair. We rode this spinny ride where the floor drops out…I staggered off and puked at his feet.  Ha! Teach him for dating a 14 year old! Or maybe it didn’t, because he asked me out again, this time to a drive-in. We saw The China Syndrome (yeah, I am dating myself.) He started to get handsy, I giggled and then promptly feel asleep on his shoulder. Yeah, I was a hot date back then.  lol  Needless to say, it was a romance that just never got its chance to blossom. Oh, and I can’t tolerate being spun around to this day.

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? My dad and I boycotted for migrant farm worker’s rights every summer from the time I was about 10 until he passed away. For one week each summer we lived in the migrant worker’s camps in CA. It was…an eye-opening experience, and taught me gratitude for so many things that we take for granted. Like clean running water. Solid walls, electricity, the chance to live with dignity. Those were brutal conditions. And yet…they were able to be happy, to live their lives in gratitude for the the things they did have: family, friends, food to eat, a place to sleep, even if it was a shack. It was a humbling experience, and one that informs my life to this day, especially when I hear people bitching about things that, seriously, mean shit. Or when I find myself doing the same.

Been on TV? A couple times in the background of local news programs. I worked in PR and was often in the background while our PR people yakked at events.

Shot a gun? Surprisingly, yes, and I was a damned good shot. I grew up in a very rural area, and part of the regular high school curriculum was that we had to take, and pass, Hunter’s Safety. So I learned to shoot, safely.

Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Umm, I don’t think so. Or if I did, I would have been so far gone to even do it that I wouldn’t remember.

Had surgery? Yes.

Streaked? No.

Peed on a bush? Yes (I backpack, hard NOT to pee on a bush at some point.)

Donated blood? Try frequently, but I am always either anemic, had a tattoo in the past year, or underweight.

Grabbed electric fence? Ha! Yes, just told W about this when he was ‘splaining how electricity works the other night. And no, I don’t believe what he told me, all that nonsense about negative and positive and stuff like that–I still think electricity is magic.

Eaten alligator meat? Yes. Yumm!

Peed your pants in public? No.

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes, at both W’s and Ad’s I sleep on the same side. I think I always have, actually…

Written graffiti? Nope.

Been in handcuffs? Um, yes. I just went back and looked for my PoJ post about the first time I went over to W’s our first play date…I realized I never chronicled it there. It’s over on Bondage Demons…then I was afraid to even put it all in writing, how it had come about! I feel an anniversary blog coming on about it…

Snuck [sic] into a movie without paying? Nope.  That “good girl” thing again. Besides, how embarrassing if I got caught!


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