Self-Pity

I am sitting here waiting for the security scan to complete on my laptop. My daughter got on it earlier, signed in to the “Family” user, and started tooling about the internet. Nowhere I would have thought suspicious, YouTube, her work blackboard, Facebook. Suddenly the computer logged her off. It restarted automatically; as soon as she signed back in, it logged off. After it happened again I shut the computer and let it sit and think about its behavior for a bit.  Did we really want to start this? I asked it silently. Because this can lead to no good.  Strangers poking about in your insides.  Looking at you.  Seeing your secrets.

Of course the issue is exactly that.  I have a LOT of kink stuff on my computer. What do I do if it breaks? When it came back up again, it behaved correctly, but I went ahead and did a scan of it just to be sure it didn’t have some weird virus. It doesn’t, and my guess is that it’s one of those weird Vista things you hear about, but now the bug is in my ear.  Need to ask W next time I talk to him.  He must know some local kink-friendly tech person, right?

Had a rough day, actually. Was feeling kind of low, took some medication early in the AM before I had breakfast, and went out to pick up the BoyChild. Got about three-quarters of the way there and had to pull over. Spent the next forty-five minutes parked by the side of the road at a park throwing up. I couldn’t even make it to the store that was a block away.  W’s house was only 5 minutes away, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him. What is it about being ill that makes me so small and insecure? I couldn’t face him with my tears, sweat, snot and vomit, though I probably needed help. Eventually I managed to get back on the road, pick up the BoyChild and get back to the house, where I forced myself to eat some saltines and promptly passed out until Ad got home.

I’m feeling better now, and of course the lesson is: food before medication.

Also, start your homework sooner, because if you lose a day being sick, you won’t get it all done.

Also (maybe) CALL when you need help. Being sick and alone sucks.

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One Response to Self-Pity

  1. Hubman says:

    Veronica and I have one computer that is the “family computer” and only has a few naughty bookmarks. Then there is the “naughty computer” where all of the good stuff is. Her brother the IT geek has strict instructions to wipe that machine clean should anything ever happen to us, no questions asked…

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