Holiday Un-Cheer

I used to love the holidays. Cooking for everyone: friends, family, lovers, anyone that wanted to come on Thanksgiving. Everyone together.  They were never the drama-filled events that so many people complain about.  It was always so so good. So much love and joy.

Now it will never be the same again, we will never be a family again, and I can’t even explain to my parents and my sister why. I just have to “have other plans.” Be “going away” so there’s no questions about why we aren’t all together.  For the rest of my fucking life it will be this way.

Sometimes, I don’t know how I will bear it.

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