I’ve been living with a boyfriend, lover, husband or friend, with and without children, since I was 16, except for the odd six months once in SLC and once here. I am a tribal creature, I enjoy living with people, and honestly don’t like living alone. The kind of solitary existence that W has, and that my SO had before I came around, would never be for me.
But every once in a while…I start to think about what it would be like to have my own space again. Note that I said “space,” not place. I am not talking about moving into my own place, but…supplementing the home I share with Ad with a space, elsewhere, of my own.
We own a house in the city that is currently standing empty. It’s been empty for quite a while now, a result of the crash of the real estate market, and I have fretted (in this blog and elsewhere) about that fact. I am much too pragmatic about such things to be comfortable leaving all that space empty, unused, and having to pay a mortgage on a house that we don’t use just gets my penny-pinching panties in a twist. (Hush, W, I am frugal in some respects–those that ping that “wasteful” button in me.) In any case, it is actually Ad’s house, and he pays the mortgage, so I have bit back a lot of my…helpful…comments and questions about when he is going to have the house ready to rent, etc.
Today I realized he just really isn’t concerned about it all. He is fine puttering around in his slow, methodical way, doing the things he wants to do to the house, having it sit empty, not having to worry about renters or selling it, etc. until he is good and ready. It wouldn’t be my choice (I’d rather use that mortgage money to go on a vacation, lol) but…okay. It’s his house. (shrug)
I stopped by the house to get it ready for a date tonight, and I realized…hell, why let it sit sad and alone and empty? I’ve been thinking about having my own space, and here we have this house…I don’t need the whole thing to be furnished, just…a bedroom…a bathroom…a few dishes, some glasses, a wine opener in the kitchen…
A space of my own. A retreat just for me…a place to bring people if I want to spend some one-on-one time, or if he and I want to bring a special girl, so as not to have to deal with the pseudo-FIL. A space for out-of-town guests, and for spending time with those guests. A space to come write, a space to just be alone once in a while. And I can decorate it any way I want…mine. I’ve never wanted something to be “all mine” before.
It’s…kind of cool.
And his response? “Great idea, Jade! You need that…”
How the fuck did I get so lucky to have him in my life?