Ad and I accidentally walked 7.5 miles last night. I had the bright idea to walk to the movie theater, about 2.5 miles away to see a movie, and then walk home. Not a bad idea, would get me out of the house, and I do so enjoy my walks with him. It’s the time that we talk the most. When we’re at the house we tend to do our own things, me on the computer writing, chatting or emailing, him playing WoW, watching TV or reading, but when we walk we talk.  That’s why I enjoy cooking together too, because we tend to talk while we cook as well. Anyway, for one reason or another, we ended up too late for the movie, so we decided to get a bite to eat before going back home. I don’t know why we decided this, but we decided to walk all the way down to this little Mexican restaurant that we like. I guess we had no idea how far it was. And then of course we had to walk back home, after a yummy (gigantic) meal & margarita.

We got back at about 10pm…of course too late for me to work on my paper I have due Wednesday (the original reason for the walk was to shake loose my thoughts on my final paper, now that I’ve finished my presentation.  Or maybe to procrastinate having to write it. Whichever.) Anyway, out of curiosity I mapped our walk on and it turned out to be seven and half miles. This morning I am happy to report that I am not stiff or sore though, as I had feared, tho Ad says he is pretty stiff.  But he is fairly sedentary, so that makes sense. It makes me have some hope that I haven’t destroyed all the work I did running last summer by being such a lazy ass all this year. I mean seriously, the rings are healed, time to get off my ass.

It’s hard to get the gumption up to go run or work out in the morning though, especially when I am at W’s. We have this lovely morning routine where he gets up with me and we talk while I get my morning bath. It’s precious time to me, and I am loathe to give that up. On the other hand, with Ad home every night, and me not having to wait around here to go to class at night, I tend to not run in the evenings either, as I was doing. I either go straight to W’s or straight home to Ad.  I try to fool myself that Ad and I will walk, and sometimes we actually do, but a) walking isn’t enough, and b) we don’t do it as often as I say we are going to. Or we walk up to a restaurant and then we eat awful things and it negates any good we did by walking. (sigh)

I really just need to get back into my routine of running each night after work, regardless of what else I am going to do that evening, or what the boys are doing. I was talking with my exercise instructor at the Y about running. He has been out for 3 months as well with a hip injury, and he was saying that it’s hard to get back into it, even though he gets the same benefits out of it that I do, and does it for the same reason: it gives us both a clear space for our heads. Time to just be quiet in our heads for awhile. He said that even his wife notices (as Ad does) when he hasn’t been running, because he gets down and moody or crabby. “You need to go run!” she will tell him, and, just like me, it puts him in the right frame of mind again. I wanted to tell him that I also use subspace and BDSM play to achieve that, but it didn’t seem an appropriate topic for conversation. At least at the Y with all those soccer moms and housewives in the class.

I was also talking with the women in my workgroup in our Monday morning meeting and we were talking about all their friends coupling up and getting married and starting families, etc. And I said that I had already tried that, but that I was glad that phase of my life, trying to fit into that mold, was over.  That I am glad I don’t have the pressing need to “couple up” and “settle down” anymore.  And they both looked confused, because of course they see me as “coupled up” with Ad. They don’t see my relationship as it really is, as a three, or the other stuff that W and I do. I had to stop and regroup, and remember who I was talking to.

It was an awkward, but telling, moment.


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