Rainy Saturday & Sunday(s)

We had many plans this weekend, most of which involved being outdoors, and none of which we accomplished because it decided to rain ALL WEEKEND. Phooey.

I’ve been remiss in posting here lately (just noticed that my last post was on Mother’s Day.) I have been a lazy busy woman lately, I suppose. But actually that’s not exactly true…well I have been busy, but mostly I just haven’t had the desire to write here much. I’ve had some little dramas creep up in the periphery of my life, nothing that actually or directly touches me or mine, but enough to cause me some vague discomfort and anxiety, plus some potential changes in my day-to-day life, and because of this I guess I have kept to myself a bit.  It’s funny to feel guilty for not sharing my troubles with the cyber world.

I also recognize that one of the reasons I have not posted is that the source of some of this anxiety is a real-life drama that is playing out in our local fetish community that is causing all kinds of unexpected and unwanted reverberations in my own psyche.  I am afraid that if I open up here, even obliquely, that I will embroil myself in it, and that I don’t want.  On the other hand, there is so much that this has brought out, so much unexamined angst that I have ignored (and thought safely tucked away) that I almost can’t not write about it. This place is where I talk to myself, this is how I figure out my head, this is how I figure my world out. It’s almost painful not to muse on this stuff, especially when it is having a definite, negative affect on my life.  And yet, doing that may open me up to scrutiny and to becoming “involved” in ways I do not want to be, have avoided being, and would loathe if it came to pass.

So.  Silence on that, at least for now.

In the good column, I am going to go plant my container garden (tomatoes, peppers, basil, oregano & rosemary) regardless of the rain.  Playing in potting soil makes everything good.

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