I hate the waiting part. We leave in fifteen hours or so, but it seems like forever.
I had a busy day, but got most of our packing done and still had hours and hours to go, so I went running. I’m trying to get back into the habit, but it’s been hard. Let me just say: running in the near-dusk on a trail through the woods…not so smart. Apparently spiders feel dusk is the optimal time to spin their feathery webs across woodland paths–the better to catch a girl running through the woods. Cobwebs in my hair, on my face and arms…ewwww…nasty. Still, the run was nice. I loved the dappled sunlight, the cooling air, the feeling of expectancy in the coming of night…oh, and almost running onto a creature of some sort.
Apparently it was a groundhog. I came close enough to him that I had to draw my foot back mid-stride in order not to STEP on the fat, indolent bugger. I thought he was a piece of wood in the trail. I can’t imagine what he thought I was, huffing and puffing towards him, but when I almost stepped on him and jumped back in surprise, he raised his head and blinked at me slowly with bright, beady black eyes…then waddled off as though he hadn’t a care in the world.
I continued on my run, keeping alert for any other logs-that-were-actually-animals in the trail.
Ad did the most incredibly wonderful thing today: he bought me a camera. This may not seem like that big a deal; it’s just a little digital point-and-shoot, not that expensive and nothing fancy…but what I feel about that camera has nothing to do with what it is, but it stands for.
See, the camera I have had is the one I had from my marriage. I have hated that camera with a passion since I was forced to take it, and the monthly payment for it, when I split up with my ex. It wasn’t his fault, not really. The Best Buy card was in my name. He’d bought the camera for us, but when we split up of course I had to make the payment on the card…thus, I became the proud owner of a digital camera. The damn thing was that I hadn’t wanted it in the first place. I didn’t think we could afford it (this was back when they were ~$600), and I certainly couldn’t afford it after we split up. And then it turned out to be difficult to use. But I was damned, after paying for it, if I was going to buy another one until that one stopped functioning completely. And it hasn’t.
This morning Ad got up, went and looked online at some cameras, and announce he was getting me a new one. I was almost in tears when we left the store. Every single time I used that fucking camera I hated my ex just a little…and that is just bad karma. Living with that little bit of bitterness in my heart did no one any good. But now…I am free. Free of the last vestiges of resentment, and I get to go on my vacation with a brand new toy!
And we get to play with it tonight. It has video, and I have my Daily Deed, and W is far away and I am SURE missing me terribly…so Ad said we’d see if we can’t “figure out” how it works before I leave, and send W a little surprise to tide him over. (grin)
So damn, is it bedtime yet??