I had an especially Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day yesterday. (Bonus points if you that can name where that came from.) But today is much better.
Of course it was the lack of sleep that framed everything else, colored it gray, and then black, and made everything that much worse. But work was hard hard hard, and I think would have made my day suck even if I had had enough sleep the night before. I found out that I am being forced to try to get something accomplished in an unreasonably short period of time, and that this something is in a system that I have never worked in. So I am not only on a deadline that I would have a hard time making even if I knew what the fuck I was doing, I don’t, so I have to teach myself the program as I go. Great. And to top it off, I am in the middle of another huge project for our staff conference next week, learning a process that I have to train 20 people on next week, creating training manuals and trying to get that together…and then I just discovered, when I had 3/4 of the damn thing done, that I’ve been doing it the wrong way (!) so have to redo the whole seminar and training session/manual, etc.
By, um, tomorrow, so I can preview it with my boss.
OMG. Can you see the stress oozing out of my pores? No, oozing is too slow. I am DROWNING in stress. It is pouring out of me in big tidal waves.
But…I have a feeling, when all is said and done and goes well, when I have accomplished this huge fucking stress-inducing mess, that…I’ll feel good. I think W hinted at that last night. He talked about how he kind of misses that “omg this has to get done, it has to get done now!” feeling, and I realized, when he said it, that it does make one feel alive, knowing that you are an integral piece of things, and are making things happen. Thinking about this and acknowledging that has helped me to reframe things in my mind and put it into a positive perspective for me. Which led to sleeping well last night and coming in this AM to have a good discussion with my boss, which led to my bit of good news–I am getting a bonus! So that helped make my day better.
I wonder if this “bonus” is because she was afraid I was going to quit yesterday. lol Bottom line, I don’t care why I am getting it…it is much appreciated and needed right now, what with doctor bills and such appearing.
Funny discussion with the Boychild yesterday morning before work.
Me: Boychild, wake up. I need to talk to you.
No movement. Not even an eyelid twitch.
Me: Boychild, seriously, wake up.
Much shaking of foot and then shoulder ensues. A moan from the Boychild. An eyelid twitch, and then an actual eye opening.
Him: Wha–? Time is it?
Me: Listen. You have a physical for school today at the doctors. You have to be at your dad’s before 1pm. You need to get your sister to drop you at your dad’s at 12:30. Can you remember that?
Him: Yeah. Okay.
He rolls over, buries head in pillows.
Me: Repeat what I just said.
Him (from beneath pillows): Mmmph.
Me (pulling pillow off face): BOYCHILD, wake up and pay attention. Repeat what I just said.
Him: What’d you say?
I repeat instructions. And tell him to repeat them back to me.
Him: Appointment with physical therapist at 3pm.
Huh? I repeat times again and that it is a high school physical.
Him: Have to be at dad’s at 1, doctor appointment at 12:30.
I sit on his bed and lift him by the shoulders, get inches away from his face.
Me: WAKE UP!
Him: Okay okay, you don’t have to get all mad and stuff!
After two more tries, he gets it right. Two hours later, I get a call. “Mom, what time is my doctor appointment and where is it?”
~shaking my head~ It must be the heat in summer that turns their little brains to mush.