No, not that kind of fun! The kind of fun that causes me to need a full cup of coffee instead of a half cup, cuz I obviously need it. (I know, a woman on the edge, right?)
It started out with me forgetting my towel for the gym. But they are so helpful–I give them a dollar, and use one of theirs–except that it’s about one square foot in size, and made out of the scratchy, white, non-absorbent material that the really really sleazy motels use. (Oh, wait! How would I know anything about really sleazy motels?? Hmm…guess I haven’t told that story yet, have I? So many stories…so little time. As W says, if it’s a choice of living life or of writing about it–live it. But still, so many, many things I want to share…)
Anyway. Obviously I digress. The towels aren’t meant to shower with, of course. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? But at least I get to keep it. That’s right, for my dollar I got to take home the cheap-ass, threadbare washrag-pretending-to-be-a-towel. Thanks so much!
It is on the way out the door of the gym that I realize that I have locked my keys in my car.
I have these…routines, see? (I can hear W laughing.) I have to put my keys, glasses, iPod, wallet, phone, laptop, etc., etc., in certain places, or I forget them. So, when I get to W’s house for instance, everything gets set down in its place, and when I leave, I go to each place and retrieve them. That way I leave nothing behind. (Well except the occasional panties, shoes, earrings or bra that I have stripped off in odd places.) I have the same routine at home, and at work. But not at the gym, apparently. At least not yet.
That morning I had put my keys into my purse, popped the trunk and got out of the car, locked the door and shut it, grabbed my bag from the trunk, checked to be sure that I had my locker key and swipe card (realized I had no towel), put my purse into the trunk, closed it, and went my happy way into the gym.
Red-faced, I asked to use the phone at the gym to call Ad. Luckily he was only 15 minutes away. I told him I’d be down at McD’s getting coffee, since I had a $5 bill in my gym bag. On the way to McD’s from the gym, I decided to go by my car for some reason. And realized that while I had locked the driver’s door, I hadn’t locked the passenger’s door! (I have a faulty locking mechanism that doesn’t lock them all at once.)
Hooray! And there, in between the seats, is my phone as well! (Sheesh, I really was still half-asleep when I got to the gym.) I get into the car and grab my phone. Think about my purse in the trunk. Do I still need Ad to bring me the key to get it? Ha! Of course not, because I am way smarter than the average bear, and I know a secret–you can get into the trunk by taking down the back seat. (Shh, don’t tell anyone.) Oh, how clever am I??? I feel like a super-secret-agent as I break into my own trunk. I pat myself on the back mentally as I call Ad and tell him he doesn’t have to come rescue me. I am, well, a bit smug about how clever I am as I tell him what I have done.
And he, dear man, listens patiently, and praises me effusively, before he says, “That’s great, Jade! Next time, though? It might be easier just to pop the trunk latch from inside the car.” Yeah, that latch, the one I had already used that very morning.
And that is why I needed a full cup of coffee this morning.
But at least I remembered to pack underwear.