If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it. ~Marcus Aurelius
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
I don’t like to use the word “hope” in this context–too amorphous, too indefinite. This is more than just a dream, a hope, a desire. Or, maybe it is just that, but I don’t want it to be. I want it to be a goal, an objective.
I will finish a novel. I will write a book.
I suppose the truth is, though, that I hope to. I really, truly may not have what it takes to do it. But I want to.
I write a lot. Here, on PoJ, elsewhere on the web, short stories, email, on Fet. But I’ve never had the stick-to-itiveness to finish a novel. I get about 1/3 of the way in, and…lose focus. Lose interest. This is a common theme in my life. My jobs last either 1 or 3 years before I get bored and go looking for something new to do. The job I am in now (luckily) keeps changing, my responsibilities are numerous and enjoyable, and I have ample opportunity to learn new things (and incorporate what I am learning there into my non-job interests), so I have stayed 3 years and counting. I’ve never been able to settle on a single major enough to finish school. I read or listen to 5 or 6 books at once (and keep them all straight!) I have 2 or 3 crochet projects going at all times. And well, we know how I am with relationships. Poly/being open suits me in that respect because I do get bored easily, and this means I can have a constant influx of new, interesting people/ideas in my life without having to let go of the wonderful relationships I do have.
So, staying faithful to a novel long enough to finish it, well, that’s a challenge. But maybe if I can look at it the same way I do my relationships, I can do it. Be committed to it, give it my full, undivided attention when I am with it, think about it with longing when I am off on one of my “shorter” projects, projects that I know will give me instant gratification, but don’t ask anything of me long-term, and come back to it with a loving heart and lots of interesting stuff to share. Maybe then I can do it!
Others who are doing the meme or have done it:
The Blogging Slave
Peggy Sue (a new-to-me blog I wandered over to after reading Rayne’s “30 Days” post…)
If you decide to join in, send me a message and I’ll add you to the list!