Truth: Day 11 – Communication

November 23, 2010

Chase after truth like hell and you’ll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat-tails. ~Clarence Darrow

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Funny that this is today’s Truth, because one thing that people seem to compliment me on the most is my communication skills.  And yet I just posted over in PoJ all about how I pretty much had a Fail in Communication 101 recently.

Communicating well, communicating effectively, isn’t a trick that you learn once and know how to do correctly, every time, from then on out.  It’s a skill that takes constant use and refining.  It takes practice. It takes effort, and desire, and…courage. It’s a skill that I have, yes.  And it’s a skill that I am always working on and always trying to improve.

As I hinted at in my post on PoJ, communication within a D/s dynamic can be particularly problematical.  Since poly relationships hinge–and live or die–on good communications between all participants, adding the D/s layer on top of poly dynamics can be especially difficult. Can a healthy poly relationship thrive in an M/s or D/s relationship? Are D/s and poly in fact antithetical to each other? These are questions I ponder frequently, especially as I watch D/s/poly relationships crash and burn–primarily because of that disconnect in communication that so often happens in D/s relationships, in which the submissive subsumes his/her own needs/desires, and doesn’t communicate them, because they are submissive. Because, as a submissive, they want to please their Master/Owner/Dominant. If those needs and desires clash with the dominant’s desire for a poly relationship, or for the style of poly relationship, then, naturally, there are going to be issues.  It’s a thorny issue, and one I may have to revisit here again.

(From the Truth Meme. I found it via The Blogging Slave, who got it from Rayne of Insatiable DesireRose Thorne has also joined in the truth-telling!  Let me know if you do, and I’ll put a link to your blog here as well.)