10:00 am – So W’s back, and my world is returned to normalcy, whatever that is. I haven’t actually had that much quality alone-time with him yet, though. He got back late Thursday and we pretty much had dinner, some talk, and then hit the sheets. Friday I worked from his house, but I was working quite a bit, and we were in anticipation mode, as we were expecting company that afternoon and then would be attending a weekend-long event. Which we did, and from about 5PM Friday until 8PM Sunday, when Ad left to go home, we were with other people or in class or playing or having three-way sex or hanging with Ad. Sunday I crashed (literally) right after the event, falling asleep at 8:30 and not getting up again until I had to go to work Monday morning. Which was all good, but still, I feel like I need downtime with him for a couple days, to get reacquainted with each other. Which we’re not going to have anytime soon, as I am home and busy with kids and packing and getting ready for the cruise every night until Friday, when we all head over to our friend’s house for the night. Saturday morning (early, I hope) we leave for Florida–six of us in an 8 person van for 16 hours. Oh my!
So, today, I am feeling a little…disconnected, maybe. Overtired, like there’s to much to do and too little time to do it…which there might be. I dunno. Really I just think I need some one-on-one time with him. Time to find our balance with each other, after a month apart.
10:00 pm – Got out all the bags we own and started trying to get organized with packing. I’d gone through all my clothes, but it’s the organizing of them into a hotel/carry-on bag for Tampa/boarding and separate bags for cruise clothes, all the while trying to keep in mind that we may have limited space in the van, that is stressing me out. And Ad just blithely watches TV all night and then goes to sleep, without having even looked through his clothes. “I’ll do it tomorrow afternoon before we go to W’s,” he says. Seriously? I know W is the same way, too, though, and it makes me a bit crazy. C’mon, guys, there’s not just deciding what to wear, there’s deciding how to pack it most efficiently, which is of a necessity with three of us, limited space in the van and on the ship. And that just doesn’t happen on its own. Someone’s got to think about and organize it, right?
~sigh~ Maybe I should just go with their philosophy and throw a couple things into a bag and wing it. But as I have learned in my many trips with my Ex, with Ad and with W, my planning allows them to be able to just relax and enjoy. I just don’t think they appreciate the effort. I have a feeling in their minds it would all just work out naturally even if I didn’t plan so much.
9:00 am – Work is kicking my ass a bit. Have so many things to do before I go, so much to make sure gets done while I am gone. I’m debating turning off my work emails that go to my cellphone while I am gone, but not sure of the wisdom of that. Will it stress me out more not knowing what’s going on?
I am taking a half day Friday though. I want a half day with W before Ad arrives and we are “all of us,” joined at the hip until we get on the ship, just so we can connect a bit, talk a bit, etc. Nine days together, all three of us, to say nothing of being with our three friends so much, has the possibility of being stressful.
Having said that, though, I don’t really anticipate it being so at all. I was thinking about what someone said to me the other day about our threesome. “It can’t be that easy!” But honestly? It really is. It just…works. The few times we’ve had angst has been just that: angst. No fighting, big scary arguments, slammed doors and threatened break-ups. A few miscommunications here and there, me being me (read: occasionally emotional or needy or over-reactive) but really, every time we talked through it before it became a big deal. Right now, before we go, when I am trying to get all our ducks in a row, is probably going to be the most stressful time. And that’s probably (slap my hand) because I am making it so by needing to have everything organized.
Oh shit that reminds me…I need to get some of the trip documentation printed out…
11:00 am – Whew, got most of the important info printed out for the trip: hotel info & maps, cruise documents, info on excursions and the trip itself. I want to make one of my infamous itineraries, but just don’t know if I’ll have time.
12:30 pm – Working on my crocheted bikini while I listen to a webinar. I’ve got a good portion of it done, and I’m pretty proud of myself. Now I just have the finishing touches on the bottoms to go. We’ll see if it actually fits when I get it done.
Tonight, over to W’s to consolidate bags, etc.
3:00 pm – Wow, just read my horoscope and had to laugh:
Wednesday, Apr 20th, 2011 — You might think you have a smarter idea for nearly everything today, but that doesn’t mean your way is really the best course of action. Unfortunately, you could be so sure of yourself now that you’ll take on anyone who disagrees with your plan. Thankfully, you should come to your senses before an argument reaches the point of no return. In a fight to the finish, there will be no winners, so find common ground and build a consensus from that point on.
And how apropos it is–Ad just called and said that he isn’t going to be home in time to pack this afternoon. He’ll get his stuff together just before going to W’s tonight.
~sigh~ Breathe, Jade.
11:30 pm – Back from W’s. Oh my god, my horoscope was so on target.
10:00 am – I think I stressed W out last night. He got to see me in drill sergeant, now-it’s-time-to-get-serious-about-packing mode. I really was just teasing them both (mostly-I swear to god it’s like herding cats, trying to get those two organized) but I wasn’t actually pissy…just using the opportunity to give them both a good poke every now and again.
Also, we got to talking about play on the ship. This is a big unknown to us all, and I think we all have a bit of anxiety about what it’s going to be like. What will be acceptable, what won’t, etc. My feeling is that as long as we stay within the ship’s rules, and don’t do anything deliberately edgy or viscous, and especially as long as we keep it sexual and sexy and fun and hot, it’ll be okay. That’s why we’re all there, right? But that doesn’t mean we don’t incorporate what we do into what we’re doing. We kinksters do have a separate play area, and if people don’t enjoy what we’re doing, there’s a whole ship that they can go to. If they choose to be there, then they are at least a bit interested and open to it. But I feel a bit like I am having to convince W that he can (and should) play with me, a feeling I despise.
But also…I feel like he kind of doesn’t want to because he doesn’t want to risk offending someone that he might want to get with later. Not play with me because he doesn’t want to risk losing the chance to fuck someone else later?? Hmm, that won’t fly. I almost said “screw it, let’s not play at all on the ship” last night actually. That way I’m not constantly wondering where his head is at, and the squirrel/hamster in my head can’t start doing its thing. (Did you read that up there about me occasionally being over-reactive? Yeah, that. ~sigh~) Anyway, common sense prevailed. And this morning I was able to shut the squirrel the fuck up and write a sensible email and all is well.
1:45 pm – Day’s half gone and I don’t know where it went to.
2:10 pm – Microwaving lunch. Resisting temptation to get one of the 10-day old cookies that are sitting in our lunch room and wave it at my crass coworker while I stuff it in my mouth. (She’s the one that feels the need to tell everyone how bad the food they are eating is, while they are eating it. And she’s vegan, and won’t eat processed sugar or wheat, so apparently the only acceptable food is…I don’t know what. Grass? Yeah, but only if it’s locally & organically grown. I’m tempted to get the book about how plants feel pain and give it to her.)
4:06 pm – Done! Finished the one big project (with time to spare!) that I had to get done before I left. That’s a big load off my mind. And it was the one thing in the way of me taking a half day tomorrow. And now, time to close down, pick up a prescription and go get the hair ripped out of my cooch.
I may or may not have time to update any more before we go, and I still haven’t decided if I am going to bring my laptop along to chronicle our adventures daily. So you may see me around here or at Pieces of Jade the next week, or maybe not!