Insomnia sucks ASS. I may have mentioned this before.
It’s 5am, and I have to be up in 45 minutes, but I’ve been awake since 3am. No reason that I can think of, except that, you know, once I woke up my brain wouldn’t shut off. Blueberry flavored bite size Shredded Wheat almost makes up for it though.
I have a first date tonight. Don’t know if I’ve mentioned it over on PoJ, but I’m back on OkCupid. Revamped my profile a bit to reflect my situation and what I am looking for a little more accurately: ie, not a “relationship.” What I’m seeking now–there or anywhere–is not another full-on poly relationship, or even “dating,” if I’m being perfectly honest. “Casual encounters” of the type that W and I prefer are what I’m after, and maybe someone to flirt with & go out with one in awhile. I do love the flirtation, the anticipation, the getting-to-know someone phase. But I just don’t have the time, energy or desire to pursue anything more than very, very sporadically.
And no vanilla sex, although, by placing W’s special twist on things, the vanilla could become definitely twisted, and in that case, would be acceptable.
So, I’ve made that pretty clear on my profile, and…it’s been pretty well-received. I have had several interesting inquiries into what exactly “W-type” encounters are, forwarded a couple of them on to W after some back and forth clarifying the concept, and had a couple more emails from guys that I actually might be interested in for the “flirting/occasional date” category. In fact that is what my date is tonight.
So, of course, I’ll be running on short sleep.
The Boychild goes back to school this week. And, since he’s moved in with me full-time, that means that I’ll be driving him back and forth to school daily. UGH. It really fouls up my routine. Not to mention when I start back to school–I am not even sure how that’s going to work! For instance. Not remembering that he starts school today (yeah I SUCK as a mom) I made my date for 5:30 tonight. Ummm…I get off at 4:30 and have to pick up the Boychild from school and drive him all the way home to South County before coming back to meet the New Guy back here in the city. There’s no way I could make a 5:30 date. So (for the second time) I had to beg his patience and ask him to reschedule–at least this time it was just for a later time. But still. This whole being a full-time mom stuff is HARD.
Okay, I’m being a little facetious. A little.
It is a rude fucking awakening though, having to be responsible for and thinking about someone else’s schedule all the time. At least when he was at his dad’s he was able to get back and forth to school without interfering in his dad’s work schedule. So it’s a lot more cumbersome for me than it was for his dad (and thus why he was at his dad’s during the school week in the first place.) And also? I think it is one reason his dad was so “accommodating” when the big split happened two weeks ago and the Boychild decided to move in with me. I suspect a smirk behind his gracious attitude (“Just see what it’s like, you’ll send him packing within a month!”) And who knows, maybe it will be a failed experiment, this full-time motherhood thing. I’ve always been upfront about the fact that I am great part-time parent. But full-time? I dunno…
Except that…I am loving having him around. Oh, we don’t hang out and yak like The Missy and I do. He’s much more social than she is, has a wide circle of friends that he keeps track of online, and is a gamer as well, but…I get little snippets of him that I didn’t have before. Like when he wanted his hair dyed pink (after he’d got the mohawk) and I did it for him.
And this morning when I helped him spike it up for his first day back at school. He and I in the bathroom at 6AM giggling about his hair and what his schoolmates are going to think. And then on the ride in, when I asked him if he wanted to listen to the radio (enabling me to do my usual, listen to a book-on-tape on the drive in) he said no, he’d rather talk. And then he did! Talked and talked and talked about school and acting and the tattoos he wants to get when he decides on his career (after he turns 18.) And the symbolism of each. And on and on about everything under the sun…
So. There’s a good side to this motherhood thing too. I could almost get to like it…
If it didn’t mess up my schedule so much. ;-)