I got a giggle this morning when I logged on to my desktop here at WordPress and looked at my blog stats. My “New Shoes” post got more hits than any other recent post. Apparently I should just post about my shoe addiction, right?
Speaking of which, the pair with the bow came in yesterday, and I got to try them on when I got home. OMG so so so sexy!!!!! I am in love. I can’t wait to get some pics of them. Actually, I have pics of the others I got recently too. W just gave them to me:
(Funny side note: he was looking thru them before copying them to the flashdrive. “Oh yeah,” he says, “here they are.” A pause. “Shoe pics.” A longer pause. Then, in a very sad voice, “No bondage though.” So sad to just have pics of awesome shoes! But we got some really cool pics of a great tie he did with my skyscraper tall heels, so he should be happy about that. lol)
So yeah, I was a busy busy woman this week. Besides working like a fiend, I also scheduled myself two first dates, back-to-back. I’d been talking to both guys for quite awhile, trying to schedule a first meeting with each, and finding life (kids, work, health, travel) being a bitch and interfering. So even though I knew it might stretch me a bit to do two social, vanilla dates in one week, and back-to-back, I scheduled them.
So, here’s a funny thing about writing about this here. One of those dates has found my profile on Fet, and via Fet, my blogs (~hi M!~) This is where being “out” in my blog, and having local people read it, and people I date, read it, gets tricky. Censor myself? Not write about it?
But no, I have made a vow to never censor myself, so…here goes.
As I mentioned in this space in an earlier post, I’ve been kind of cool on the idea of vanilla dating lately. I know all the reasons W encourages me, and I do, truly enjoy meeting new people, but…honestly I have just not found myself “clicking” with any of them. I had assumed it was because of the non-kink element. Maybe I just don’t get off anymore unless that “edge” is there.
But now, after this past week, I may have to revise that.
I was totally unprepared to enjoy my date with M as much as I did. To feel that “click,” as it were. And yet…I did. Enormously so. Enough to be, as W put it, “effervescent” when I got home to him that night and told him all about my date.
Of course it could be the two bottles of wine we consumed. I am a happy, handsy drunk, and when we started kissing…damn he’s a good kisser…well, I was wishing we were someplace more private. (I imagine the bar people were too! lol) Actually though? I’m glad we weren’t somewhere where it could have gone further. It was…fun…dating like a “normal” person. Flirting and teasing without having the foregone conclusion that I was going to have sex with him. I felt like…well, you know, a regular dating person again. And honestly…while I enjoyed the making out (a lot!) I enjoyed the talking, the getting to know each other part just as much (if not more.) And…I am enjoying this period of…courting. (Well, it’s too soon to call it that, precisely. But you know…anticipation. When everything is new and possible and you haven’t crossed all those lines yet.)
In fact…I was a little concerned when I realized he was going to find me on Fet. Tantalized, in a way, (I truly am an exhibitionist slut) but also…kind of oddly sad that part of the “discovery” of someone new would be…maybe mitigated a bit. He’d pretty much never have to guess anything else about me. I felt kind of disappointed that we wouldn’t get to explore those mysteries, the mystery of another person, in that way.
And….since I had actually liked him on that date, I was also worried that he wouldn’t want anything more to do with me once he “saw” me in that light. It’s happened before.
But okay…I am “exposed.” ;-) And really that’s okay too, because, yes, I do love this feeling…of knowing how completely my pictures and writings expose me. It’s (sigh–see how twisted I am?) kinda hot.)
Date number two, while perfectly fine, didn’t…grab me in quite the same way. And here’s where I really start to wonder about how this “attraction” thing works, and why. Date #2 was, if I could have made a specific request for my “ideal” kinda guy, exactly that. A little young for my taste (39), but tall, good-looking, intellectual, plays a mean game of Scrabble, gives an AWESOME shoulder rub (I can only imagine what a full-body rub would be like), successful, self-confident, funny, interesting. And it’s not that I didn’t feel the pull of attraction (if that had been the case I’d have been upfront with him right away–no sense wasting his time and mine!) but it wasn’t that wild sense of exhilaration, that zing that I’d felt the night before.
I may have been overtired. And sometimes, as with Ad when I first met him, the attraction is a slow-building thing. I had a really fun texting exchange with him last night, and he is really interesting and, okay, hot (LOL), so I think we’ll probably go out again, just to see.
If he’s still interested, that is. Because I just Googled my writing name, which I gave to him last night when he asked about my printed erotica, and lo and behold it comes up…with links to PoJ…which of course links here.
So. He may be reading this right now.
Oh the tangled webs we weave!