Monday morning, and I’m getting ready for my day/week. Thinking about coffee, and a hair cut, and stopping by the store on the way to W’s. Thinking about spending 4 days with him, talking, laughing, planning, relaxing, playing, fucking, sucking, reading, writing.
My piercings are getting better: less tender, but more itchy as the healing progresses. It’s so attractive feeling like I have to scratch my crotch every ten minutes. And then doing it.
I’ve been off Twitter for several days now. It’s a little like withdrawals from caffeine. I do miss knowing when someone has posted something new, and have been so used to using it like an RSS feed that I keep forgetting to check my RSS feeder (course since my laptop is at W’s I don’t have all my favorites and such anyway.) So I haven’t kept up with reading blogs much either. Maybe I can remedy that while I am at W’s. I also have two stories with Jan. 1 deadlines that I need to get done…think that’s my first priority.
We went and saw Avatar last night, and saw Sherlock Holmes the night before. It’s been awhile since there’ve been movies that I’ve wanted to see, like paid attention to their release dates, etc., but these two I had been. And, in both cases, I was not disappointed. Both were excellent, and though very different visually, they were both beautiful movies, visually just stunning (though I really didn’t need the slowmo stuff in Sherlock.)
After the movie I was supposed to go over to W’s, but it was cold, and I was feeling a little tired and sore, and opted to stay home with Ad and the kids. I’m glad I did, the GirlChild was very happy to snuggle up with me on the couch and chatter away about her boyfriend and school and college plans and writing and painting toenails. The closer she gets to going to college, even if she stays in town to do so, the closer I am to having these moments with her end, so I cherish each and every one of them.
As I watch her speak, as I listen to her, I see her whole life opening up before her, brand new, everything so big and scary and exciting. As most people do, I wish I knew then, when I was her age, what I know now, and there are times when I want to impart that knowledge to her, but I can’t. I can give her little bits (so much more than my own parents did for me) and I can talk honestly with her about all these things, when she is inclined to talk about them, but for the most part, it must be experienced. And that, too, is part of the joy of life, the experience, the joys and pain and discovery. But that I should be so damn happy now, when my life is half over, seems so unfair–why couldn’t I have known/experienced this when I was eighteen or or twenty??
Then again, some people never find this. So I am grateful to have it at all. Still, sometimes I feel life slipping by so fast, I want to just catch hold of it and slow it down, freeze it in this one crystalline moment, a moment that is so perfect I wonder if it can last.